Welcome To The Darkside

   Wow, that’s some after effect bru. I was wasted for a couple of days. Guess my mind is being stretched out to its limit. Alhamdulillah, I managed to recover in a couple of days. Hmm, guess I am getting better at it. The last time it happened, it took me around 2 weeks to get back on my feet again.  Sometimes, it is so hard to contain yourself that you begin speaking in staccato intervals. With of course, mildly shaking vocals that shows that you are nervous. Ahh..the symptoms,the sickness is in the post. It’s in the post.
   That doesn’t make sense. No sense at all. Most of the stuff in this world doesn’t make sense either. Just look at the PS3 for example. Cell-processing Blu-Ray mumbo jumbo powerhouse machine but it’s graphic is only slightly better than X360. That doesn’t make sense. Bioshock doesn’t make sense. So does Assassin Creed, Jericho, Mass Effect and Virtua Fighter 5. Damn, am I sensing  something here?  Am I full of nonsense? Perhaps. Ahh, I need to get back to my quoterion and octonion algebra now.

   At least I tried. And it didn’t end pathetically. Yes, there was…an awkward moment. If it is not meant to be then it is not meant to be. Furthermore, I don’t think it’s a complete failure.In this failure, there is a fair amount of success. This door has closed yet leading to another new door. I just need to find the right key now.
   Wait a minute, do I have the right door? Huh, what the hell am I doing talking about doors and keys? Am I a pizza delivery guy? A thief? Who am I?Where am I? What was I doing? Ermmm. That’s right, I was about to amputate my left arm, silly me. Damn, life is great.

   Toeplitz matric, Gradient Based Learning, a posteriori, Global Asymptotic Stability..I know what they are, however, I can’t neither solve their problems nor derive the mathematical logic behind it, and it  frustrates me.  After reading 8 chapters of Recurrent Neural Network for Prediction, I am still at lost. The knowledge I’ve gained is minimal. This is the reason why technical books are so aggravating as compared to other books like "50 Laws of Power" and "Art of Seduction". I need to get smarter as fast as possible. I WANT to get smarter.

   How do you define yourself? Like Michael Jordan is synonymous with basketball. Or Mike Tyson is with boxing. As for me, I suck at most things, therefore, the only thing I’ve left is my technical knowledge. Furthermore, I am getting paid to be smart, how cool is that?

   In my life so far, I have missed so many opportunities and the one that suffers the most is my love life. I do have friends of the opposite sex, however, I have never been in a relationship. My belief is that , in order to maximize the sweetness of your marriage, you must minimize your relationship durations. Besides,as a fellow Muslim, it is also to minimize your sins. Previous years, I was not ready for marriage. Now, I am still not ready, however, the desire to be in a relationship is insatiable as many opportunities have arise. What should I do? I’ll do the right thing this time. No longer shall I forsaken love in hopes of fulfilling my dreams. The question is: will love forsaken me, like it did before? My answer is: does it matter? Damn, am I losing the Darkside mojo?