A Phailed Attempt At Movie Reviews!
Movies have been a bigger part of my life compared to a normal
heterosexual male-sane person. People need an outlet to express them
self, such as painting, making music, playing sports and the stupider
ones would get involve in drugs or would even drink himself/herself to
a stupor. As for me, I write stories. I have been writing since Form
4(Hidupku–> pretty lame title, I know..), and I have never stopped
ever since, though it’s been a while since I’ve written my last
story(Diary of A Tortured Butterfly). In the midst of writing, I would
sometimes daydream that my written work would be turned into a movie
someday. Therefore, as a fellow self-proclaimed writer who is not paid
to write, I will always be captivated by a movie which has a good plot
that makes sense(to me, at least..). Let the madness begins…
1. THE BRAVE ONE
Damn, Jodie Foster looks old.
Anyway, the plot is simple, girl is in love(booo!), then in the next
scene, girl and lover boy got their ass busted by some gang
members(love sucks, and sucks hard!), boy died and girl became a
vigilante. There, I’ve encapsulated the entire movie in just 4 lines.
Damn, I am good. Please watch in awe as I flex my well toned muscle
that shall cause a shockwave that will bring the entire female
population down to their knees. Kadooosh!
Rating: 3/5
2. I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY
I am a funny guy. Or according to most people, I made a valiant effort
but failed miserably at being funny. Nevertheless, the gist of those 2
sentences is that: I am funny. Therefore, according to the funny guy
rule of thumb(Jerry Seinfeld), funny guy must watch funny movies.
Hence, I love funny movies. I like Adam Sandler, Happy Gilmore, 50
First Dates, Wedding Singer, Spanglish..you name it, I’ve seen them
all. However, C&L here is not one of his best movie. It’s true, I
even did a Normal Distribution graph to prove it.
I was about to give this movie a 3/5 , pretend gay firefighters
married to receive domestic partner benefits or something like that,
but that is until I saw Jessica Biel. Man, she’s hot, absolutely
gorgeous. Therefore, I’ve decided to give this movie a 100/5. Yeah, I
know that the score defies logic, but Jessica Biel’s body also defies
logic. Jessica Biel in a catsuit..and the scene with Adam Sandler
:p.Wow, I am sold.
Rating: 100/5
True Rating:3/5
