Welcome To The Darkside

  Electrical Brain Signals are interesting. So does the hyper complex algebra, hyperion and octarion algebra. Filters are cool, FIR and IIR is only the tip of the iceberg. You will have Blind Filtering techniques, Moving Averages, Auto Regressive, NARMAX(Non-linear version) and not forgetting the Kalman methods of fusion. Oh yeah, do not forget about Neural Network. Neural Network are awesome, with different activation functions(sigmoid regularly) comes different results. We can use Neural Network for lots of reasons:filtering, predicting and smoothing. And of course, there are recurrent and non-recurrent.JDI architecture is great. And then comes all the equations. Guess life is about to get interesting for me. Recommendation for all those Filters hustler; Adaptive Filter Theory by Simon Haykin. Not forgetting Recurrent Neural Network for Prediction by Danilo Mandic. Ahh, just like old times..
   Wow, this is an interesting post. Am I turning my blog into a mini research journal? Perhaps. Yeah, I know, it’s absurd right? It’s like Will Smith joining Scientology..totally absurd. Wait a minute…

   New Year is upon us, once again. And yet, the anxiety kept creeping up on me. There is no way you can outrun the past. The past will keep coming back to haunt you. Again and again, every single night. The valiant effort of coming to terms with the past is not for naught. We wouldn’t know where we are going, until we know where we have been. Do not let your intricate past ruined your lucrative future. And that’s how it’s going to be.
   All right, that sounds depressing. Man, I’ve never been this bummed. The bummest I’ve been is when Godfather 3 ended. Man, what a lousy end to the greatest story ever told. Mario Puzo should be rolling in his grave now. Wait, Mario Puzo is still alive? Or is he?
   Alvin and the Chipmunks? Garfield Deja-vu, and it sucks.
   National Treasure 2? It still sucks thanks to Nicholas Cage who has scarred me for life with his portrayal of Johnny Blaze in Ghost Rider.
   AVP2? Sucks, but better than the first though. Predator Alien Hybrid? Rigghhtt.. And by the way, Predator has cool logs.
  I am Legend? I liked it. Engrave Will Smith’s name in anything, and it will turn out into a blockbuster.  4/5
  Yeah, yeah, I am freaking lazy these couple of days. I am going to go back to my OC now. Season 4 is waiting, oh yeah. Volchok is such a bastard.

   Golden Compass was, a little too childish plus a little too boring for me. Kind of like Narnia. Narnia but with Nicole Kidman. The addition of Nicole Kidman piqued my interest in Golden Compass. Sure, I was complaining throughout that we have made a mistake choosing this over the uber-awesome I am Legend(hopefully), but deep within my heart, I was thinking,"Damn, Nicole Kidman sure looks gorgeous..how old is she anyway? 40?". The only thing that’s magnetic about that movie is Nicole Kidmans’ presence. Therefore, I shan’t rate this movie as I do not want to hurt Nicole Kidmans’ feeling. Nicole, call me.
   You know which movie that really put my extreme machoness to the test? Enchanted. With all the singing and fairy tale, I thought I was gonna puke throughout the whole movie, but to my surprise, I liked the movie. And the songs, at the park, at the ballroom, is pure awesomeness. I know, I know, I had betrayed my clan of extreme machoness, forgive me guys.
   However if it’s any consolation, I washed all this lovey dovey stuff down with a healthy dose of Hitman just right after that. That’s right, multiple servings of bullets, blood, sex and dismemberment. Yeah, I feel like a man back after watching Hitman.
   Man, I still remember those days when I used to beat up punks and then chug down a whole bottle of Ribena, in one gulp. Yeah man, how much more macho can it get? Ribena is the manliest drink around.

  From the first moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew that there will be trouble. Such a perfect fit for my shattered soul, perplexity of that thought overwhelms me. I knew that deep down inside, trouble is brewing. Yet I ignored it, and pushed on. It was like..fate is tempting with me. So many opportunities have been laid out in front of me. I would be a fool not to have taken it.

"No, no..you shouldn’t take this chance, it can only lead in pain and sorrow for you," my brain tells me.

"You should take this opportunity, if it’s fated to be then it is fated to be," said my heart.

   Normally, the brain overrules the heart, but logics have been thrown out from the equation. Despite all logic, despite knowing that it would end up in misery for me, I pursued. Stupidity? Perhaps. But what I was thinking is more in line.. like it’s like a risk. You can either be absolutely happy or devastatingly sad. And it’s a risk that I am willing to take. Besides, I’ve hit rock bottom before. What do I have to lose, right? One thing that I am good at in the past is self sabotaging, and it won’t happen again. The decision was made by the heart, but the follow through, for the first time ever for me, will be done by the brain.

   Wow, such an expression of the heart. Didn’t know that I have such feelings. I thought I was a cold blooded killer, like a Hitman or something.  I always thought I would end up like Archimides you know, who was about to slit his wrist in the bath tub for the miserable life that he had , exactly like the Roman does anyway, just before he discovered the Principle of Displacement of Mass. Wait a minute, that can’t be right. They haven’t invented razors back then. And everyone knows that razors owned if you are planning to execute "across the highway". Knives are for wussy.

Once upon a time, there were 2 brothers. One had a large nose while the other had a large ear. The large nose boy is emotionless. He can’t feel anything, love,hate,happy, nothing. The large ear boy on the other hand is just like any other boy, your average Joe to put it simply.He has plethora of emotions to display.

One day, they found a Genie.The Genie gave each of them a wish.
"And now, state your wish and the reason why you wish for it,"asked the Genie.
Both of them fell silent. After thinking for a while, the large nose boy began speaking.
"I wish to have emotions because I feel incomplete as a human being without my emotions. "
"Granted," the Genie said to the large nose boy.
Shortly afterwards, the large ear boy began talking.
"I wish to be void of emotions. I feel to much, and without emotions, I could concentrate better towards achieving my goals."
"Granted,"
The Genie then fulfilled both of their wishes. Both of them returned to their normal routine.

The large nose boy feels complete. He has finally able to feel. He has finally able to live.
The large ear boy also was very happy with his wish. Without emotions, he became goal driven and was very successful.

Both of them were very happy with their lives.
One day, their mother fell ill, and passed away.
The large nose boy, now with the ability to feel, is very sad. He cried and cried for days, longing to be with his deceased mother.
The large ear boy, on the other hand, feels nothing. He didn’t feel happy nor sad. He felt nothing. And with his mother just passed away, and he felt nothing while seeing his brother crying his eyes out, he felt hollow inside. He felt incomplete, he didn’t feel human.

The large nose boy said
"I shouldn’t have asked for emotions. I can’t handle this pain. I can’t go on living my life this way. I shouldn’t have made that wish."
The large ear boy said
"I shouldn’t have asked to be emotionless. I felt inhuman, incomplete. I felt empty. I shouldn’t have made that wish."

By then, it’s already too late, and both of them shall suffer until eternity for the choice that they wrongly made.
Do you know the moral of this story? I do.
Written by:Corie

   You might be reading this, or you might not. You might understand the article, or you might not. You may know who you are, or maybe not. Whatever it is, despite all logic, I am going to post it anyway.

  I called you up for the first time. Hands shivering, gut wrenching nervousness engulfs me. I thought you might not pick up the phone, but you did pick it up. For that , I am relief.
  I met you for the first time. Even though the place was cold, but I was sweating profusely. I thought you might not show up, but you did show up. For that, I am glad.
  I looked deeply into your eyes for the first time. Beautiful, crystal like appearance they are. They are so beautiful , so beautiful until it permeates my soul. I thought you might leave, but you didn’t. For that, I am happy.

  I could go on and on, but in order to keep my manliness intact, I shan’t continue. Yeah, it’s like everytime I talk, I would recite a poem. I can’t help it, it’s a curse I tell ya, a curse.  As expected of me for being the descendant of Aristotle. Wait, Aristotle wasn’t a poet? Damn!

   Wow, that’s some after effect bru. I was wasted for a couple of days. Guess my mind is being stretched out to its limit. Alhamdulillah, I managed to recover in a couple of days. Hmm, guess I am getting better at it. The last time it happened, it took me around 2 weeks to get back on my feet again.  Sometimes, it is so hard to contain yourself that you begin speaking in staccato intervals. With of course, mildly shaking vocals that shows that you are nervous. Ahh..the symptoms,the sickness is in the post. It’s in the post.
   That doesn’t make sense. No sense at all. Most of the stuff in this world doesn’t make sense either. Just look at the PS3 for example. Cell-processing Blu-Ray mumbo jumbo powerhouse machine but it’s graphic is only slightly better than X360. That doesn’t make sense. Bioshock doesn’t make sense. So does Assassin Creed, Jericho, Mass Effect and Virtua Fighter 5. Damn, am I sensing  something here?  Am I full of nonsense? Perhaps. Ahh, I need to get back to my quoterion and octonion algebra now.

   At least I tried. And it didn’t end pathetically. Yes, there was…an awkward moment. If it is not meant to be then it is not meant to be. Furthermore, I don’t think it’s a complete failure.In this failure, there is a fair amount of success. This door has closed yet leading to another new door. I just need to find the right key now.
   Wait a minute, do I have the right door? Huh, what the hell am I doing talking about doors and keys? Am I a pizza delivery guy? A thief? Who am I?Where am I? What was I doing? Ermmm. That’s right, I was about to amputate my left arm, silly me. Damn, life is great.

   Toeplitz matric, Gradient Based Learning, a posteriori, Global Asymptotic Stability..I know what they are, however, I can’t neither solve their problems nor derive the mathematical logic behind it, and it  frustrates me.  After reading 8 chapters of Recurrent Neural Network for Prediction, I am still at lost. The knowledge I’ve gained is minimal. This is the reason why technical books are so aggravating as compared to other books like "50 Laws of Power" and "Art of Seduction". I need to get smarter as fast as possible. I WANT to get smarter.

   How do you define yourself? Like Michael Jordan is synonymous with basketball. Or Mike Tyson is with boxing. As for me, I suck at most things, therefore, the only thing I’ve left is my technical knowledge. Furthermore, I am getting paid to be smart, how cool is that?

   In my life so far, I have missed so many opportunities and the one that suffers the most is my love life. I do have friends of the opposite sex, however, I have never been in a relationship. My belief is that , in order to maximize the sweetness of your marriage, you must minimize your relationship durations. Besides,as a fellow Muslim, it is also to minimize your sins. Previous years, I was not ready for marriage. Now, I am still not ready, however, the desire to be in a relationship is insatiable as many opportunities have arise. What should I do? I’ll do the right thing this time. No longer shall I forsaken love in hopes of fulfilling my dreams. The question is: will love forsaken me, like it did before? My answer is: does it matter? Damn, am I losing the Darkside mojo?

  Movies have been a bigger part of my life compared to a normal
heterosexual male-sane person. People need an outlet to express them
self, such as painting, making music, playing sports and the stupider
ones would get involve in drugs or would even drink himself/herself to
a stupor. As for me, I write stories. I have been writing since Form
4(Hidupku–> pretty lame title, I know..), and I have never stopped
ever since, though it’s been a while since I’ve written my last
story(Diary of A Tortured Butterfly). In the midst of writing, I would
sometimes daydream that my written work would be turned into a movie
someday. Therefore, as a fellow self-proclaimed writer who is not paid
to write, I will always be captivated by a movie which has a good plot
that makes sense(to me, at least..). Let the madness begins…

1. THE BRAVE ONE
   Damn, Jodie Foster looks old.
Anyway, the plot is simple, girl is in love(booo!), then in the next
scene, girl and lover boy got their ass busted by some gang
members(love sucks, and sucks hard!), boy died and girl became a
vigilante. There, I’ve encapsulated the entire movie in just 4 lines.
Damn, I am good. Please watch in awe as I flex my well toned muscle
that shall cause a shockwave that will bring the entire female
population down to their knees. Kadooosh!
Rating: 3/5

2. I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY
 
I am a funny guy. Or according to most people, I made a valiant effort
but failed miserably at being funny. Nevertheless, the gist of those 2
sentences is that: I am funny. Therefore, according to the funny guy
rule of thumb(Jerry Seinfeld), funny guy must watch funny movies.
Hence, I love funny movies. I like Adam Sandler, Happy Gilmore, 50
First Dates, Wedding Singer, Spanglish..you name it, I’ve seen them
all. However, C&L here is not one of his best movie. It’s true, I
even did a Normal Distribution graph to prove it.

  I was about to give this movie a 3/5 , pretend gay firefighters
married to receive domestic partner benefits or something like that,
but that is until I saw Jessica Biel. Man, she’s hot, absolutely
gorgeous. Therefore, I’ve decided to give this movie a 100/5. Yeah, I
know that the score defies logic, but Jessica Biel’s body also defies
logic. Jessica Biel in a catsuit..and the scene with Adam Sandler
:p.Wow, I am sold.

Rating: 100/5

True Rating:3/5